I've had an issue with vertigo for seven months now. It's the kind that when I move my head there is an illusion of movement. I'm mostly dizzy unless my head is still. Sometimes it seems to get better. Sometimes not and then I become discouraged thinking that I’ll always be this way. Here's the point and how it relates to grief: Physical and emotional pain are difficult to separate.
When you are deeply grieving, you want to get better fast. You know that you will always miss your loved one, but the pain and emptiness may feel like it will never get better. With my vertigo and your grief we have to remind ourselves that healing does not go in a straight line upward. There are many setbacks.
It sometimes feels that your heart may always be broken. Then you may get relief from the pain for a moment, or days or weeks, then, Wham—the emptiness comes flooding back. It can feel discouraging, or endless, and sometimes hopeless. However, remember to trust the healing process: moving along but with inevitable setbacks.
Setbacks often hit for no reason at all. And sometimes there are good reasons—is an anniversary or birthday coming up? Is Valentine’s Day approaching? Are you feeling particularly lonely without your best friend to check in with? Setbacks will come but there are healthy ways to move through.
Make a plan for approaching possible setbacks. Reach out for company or watch something inspiring and uplifting. Or perhaps have a good cry. Courage Road goes into more detail about everything I’ve covered here.
On a personal note, my daughter married into a wonderful, loving family. Her sister-in-law’s middle son recently had a huge medical scare. They found tumors in his brain. Thank God they are benign! But there will be ongoing treatment and Stanford Hospital did not accept their insurance. My son-in-law started a GoFundMe page to help with the deductible and future medical costs. If you are able to donate anything at all, it would be greatly appreciated.